don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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