guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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