No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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