I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
