yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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