Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize