All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
