Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
