girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
