Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
