he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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