i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
