I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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