Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
