so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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