so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
foreskin is a definite game changer
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
