When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wish they made helmets for livers.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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