At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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