I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There r osticjed everywhere
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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