where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize