My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
