i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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