I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Pants are for mortals
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
