maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
