So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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