so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
