You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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