Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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