I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
