I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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