...so i touched it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
