it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Welp...herpes.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
