I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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