I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
