Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
