We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
