..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We had sex on a dog bed..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize