idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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