I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
