He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize