why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
