i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
