you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
