Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My pussy is not your playground.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
