I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize