stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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