You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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