so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
