my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
