I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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