I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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