so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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