It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
