does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize