whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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