That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
