I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
