Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
