The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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