3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I faked an abortion last night.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
