Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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