Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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