he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
two words...techno handjob
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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