could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
