i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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