stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
