Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize