God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize