I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
