Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize