You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My vagina is officially offended.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
