i jhust puked up my retainher.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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